I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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