when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
