singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We had to coat check the pizza.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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