Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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