bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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