I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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