Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
