Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
