I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
