we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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