no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize