I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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