how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
