pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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