I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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