Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
