You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
