he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
