I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
