My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
