she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize