Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
