Me too!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
