Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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