i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize