I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
