Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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