she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
