Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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