They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
