How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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