I'd wear matching sweaters with you
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
