just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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