Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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