just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Say something about gay babies.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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