mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
