guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize