dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
