so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize