tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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