Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Drunk is not a location!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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