There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
