were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
