It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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