i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
