This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
