My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sext me about skeletons
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
