you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
