I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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