Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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