so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
