What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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