Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
