I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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