I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
