Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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