it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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